Pacific Adventure

Row row row your boat gently down the stream merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream. Right? That's how the song goes? Well today we weren't rowing down a stream it was more like crossing the rough Pacific Ocean and we NOT so merrily doing so. 

Left Guatemala City and drove into Monterico. The drive was fine cause I couldn't see out the window to notice how many almost accident we could've gotten into. Pulled into the retreat center looked around and left for El Dormedo. A tiny little village you have to take a boat to....that no one told us about.  All of us shuffle out of the van, took 1 look at the boat and looked at each other. It was suggested we take 2 trips but the Guatemalan men said, " oh no we fine". Looking at the Sea then back at the boat I about had a heart attack. I did have a slight panic attack after everyone got on and the water started to come in the boat every time we hit a little wave from the ocean. One of my worst fears is drowning in an ocean. So there I was in a dinky boat with a ton of people in the middle of a very rough and unforgiving ocean. We made it across with lots of tears on my part and some major uneasiness from my other members. 

Next we had lunch in Pastor Vinecios church. It's one that when Dave went he got to go to and play with the kids. It's was hard on me today thinking about him and the kids considering it was our 10 year together anniversary :) Watching the children as we sat down like kings to a big lunch just stare at us and beg for our attention was heart wrenching.  Watching one little girl receive a tiny Dora doll was the high light of my day. Her little shy face accepting this great gift melted my heart. We played and made braclets and watched gigantic pigs run around for a while then headed back towards the boats. The Lord heard my cry and we did split up into 2 boats which was MUCH better. 

Watching the sun set while laying in a hammock on the third story of a building listening to the Pacific Ocean roar was exactly what I needed. My amazing husband wrote me a card for every day I'm gone so I read that and had a good cleansing cry....ladies you know what I'm talking about. Glad to be putting day 1 behind me nervous for day. Word on the street is it will involve another boat...

Yucky white paper

Roosters, people, dogs oh my, roosters people dogs oh my, roosters people dogs oh my. The sounds of the city are alive and loud this morning. The sky a beautiful purple pink as it fades into a light blue while I type. I feel like my senses are on overload. 

 

We arrived last night, not sure what time, after a very bumpy plane ride through a gigantic lightning and rain storm high up in the clouds. It was incredible to see the bolts just dance off the thick clouds. No luggage was lost or damaged and we soared right through customs. They took one look at all our bags and us and asked 2 questions and away we quickly scurried. The drive through the city at night was amazing. The people all around, even at night, the big huge building ever made or decorated out of scrap metal and signs. Just so different for me but my heart is loving it. Today I am asking The Lord to make me and my teammates so aware of what's around us and take it all in. It's just so....foreign ;) 

Today we are heading to Montirico to look around and visit. Not quite sure if we have anything concrete planned. As is in a few days all we will see is concrete as we build a "camp" in Rio Dolce for the rest of the week. Please be praying for rest and health as we continue this trip. It's not a great place for sleep and with little sleep immune systems tend not to be at their best. Also please pray I remember to not flush the toilet paper! Gosh that's a hard one to remember since trying to potty train Olivia I have been teaching her to flush yucky white paper :D  and above all that we would be used by The Lord for whatever he wants us to do.

Motion sickness is for the birds

Tossing and turning and mind racing from the days events and the days to come journeys is what's keeping me from sleeping. My adventure began today and not quite how I would expect it to.

Said goodbye to the kids, husband and mother which went pretty well I must say. I didn't cry like such a baby as I thought I was going to. I took some motion sickness meds before I left to help with the journey down. As we pulled out of the church I started to feel a little funny. My nose was tingly, my right side of my tongue had no feeling, when I swallowed I could only feel the left side, my right arm was pins and needles and I had major weakness. I took some deep breathes and started to pray. It got to the point where I told my team members in my vehicle they needed to pray cause there is something really wrong. Long story short I had side effects to the motion sickness medication which I have taken before....pretty much my whole life and haven't EVER had a reaction to it.

So today as I lay here soaking up the last few minutes I have in a soft, comfy, clean American bed I am thankful for another day and for the unknown journey that awaits me. I have been listening to all the planes that have been taking off since 4am and with every new plane my excitement and nerves grow. Some people go there whole lives without really living it and only staying in their bubble. Well I'm not one of them. I'm living! It feels strange and unfamiliar but I won't feel guilty for leaving my family I'm going to take in all the sights, sounds and smells. But above all I am going to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

The best of HIS intentions

Reading is not one of my favorite past times but lately I have been so into The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. Its a book on prayer and praying through things. Not giving up dreams, visions and unanswered prayers.

It hit me today when I was reading, God is not a God of  MY space and time. How often do we really think about the difference in timing God has then us? Only when we need him to move on something we are praying about is how I have seen it in the past. I haven't stopped to really think about how different God's time is from mine. We always hear, " in God's timing..." I can't stand that statement cause I am a human living in 2013 and I want what I want and I want it now! Our society is teaching us that we can have everything our own way right when we want it?!

But it hit me today...Gods space and time is so vastly different then mine I can't even comprehend it. When I pray and nothing happens my words aren't just out there in the universe floating around. They are captured in His space and His time. Mark Batterson talks about how  Isaiah gave us a glimpse of how big and far God is. " As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways high than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Mark Batterson goes on to say, " The outer edge of the universe, according to astrophysicists, is 15.5 billion light years away  if it seems incomprehensible, its because its virtually unimaginable. yet God says that this is the distance between His thoughts and ours. so here's my thought: your best thought on your best day falls 15.5 billion light-years short of how great and how good God really is."  And even with all that unimaginable space between us he still answers.

Gods watch is way off from ours and all that space, in my human feeble mind, makes it impossible for my prayers to be answered. But he does it! He hears every word and knows every thought in our heads, good and bad. And cares. Even with 15.5 billion light-years of calculated space between us. When he says no on something and I am devastated I need to keep praying and being watchful because he does have something better for me. It may be 10 years down the road. But compared to 15.5 billion light-years of space and time 10 years is nothing!

My take away from today is: Even with unimaginable space and time between us my God is a great listener and he does answer every prayer with the best of HIS intentions on HIS mind.

6?!

" Its his birthday and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to..." The house is filled with excitement and joy for Noah, our oldest son, who turns 6 today. He is currently sitting at the counter having all his DS time with his new Mario game. I have to tell you his daddy went out at 6 this morning to go get that game because his real present never came in from UPS yesterday. Go daddy!!

I may be the only mom who feels this way but I have had a little bit of a hard time with all my kids birthdays this year. People tell you when they are born, " cherish every moment cause time flies." You can't fathom this statement for the first year. You are so busy learning them, loving them and navigating life as 3 instead of 2. But now that 6 years, 2 siblings, 2 moves and countless other life altering events have occurred I sit here and say, " where has the time gone?!" 

God has quickly been reminding me that the time has gone by in the moments I've held him when he is upset, sick or tired. They have gone by in the tee-ball games and soccer matches he has played. The first days of his life where we carefully fed our 5lb 2oz miracle. Time has passed by watching him become a protective, caring older brother. 6 years hasn't come and gone they have passed as they should and we have made memories and have learned A LOT! Even though my heart is sad that life has changed so quickly I will choose today to rejoice in this precious gift I get the privileged of living every day...motherhood. 

My own well being?

Slumber parties aren't just for little girls! I am getting ready for our yearly Pj Party our women's department puts on at our church. I have been given the privilege to help this year. I have been preparing, worshiping  praying and asking God, " what do you want for women in general?" 

We can be so caught up in our families spiritual well being that we don't take the time for our own spiritual well being. As I was worshiping today this is what my heart has come away with:  

My prayer for today's women:

Lord I don't want to live without your presence. Father I don't want to move without you with me. When I breath in you breath out. I want your favor, love, joy and peace to radiate from my inmost being. 

Lord its so hard today to live this way. The offense we create among each other; the bitterness we carry from the offenses we create; the hurt we get from the bitterness we carry from the offense we create. O Lord it is a vicious cycle. It carries over into our ability to parent and how we interact with our spouse. O Father let us see the error of our ways. I don't want to live without your presence. 

To those who feel lost, Lord find them. To the ones who feel alone, go to them. In your word you say, " I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you. John 14:18" You are a good God, show yourself strong to the hardest of hearts. 

Some of us are facing situations that to us are impossible. You didn't create us to do the impossible. You created us to call on the one who made the impossible, possible. Ether its a sick kid, the threat of loosing our home, not being able to provide for our families, feelings of never being forgiven. Fix our eyes on you, God of the impossible. Give us a holy moment where our blind eyes are open and our weak hearts made hopeful. 

Then there are those that are hard as the hardest granite. Trust is a 5 letter word never uttered from our mouths. We trust no one; no one has ever been able to crack us. crying is a sign of weakness and asking for help is forbidden. Some of us like this have been wounded by the church and the thought of ever being vulnerable in a church setting again is nauseating. Father break us! You are the master potter. Chisel away the stone. Make us like little girls that adore their daddy. I see this in my little Olivia. Adoration, worship, unconditional love and  reverence for her daddy and no one else. Lord give us hearts like daughters. 

But God most of all let us live in community with each other. Let us meet and pray, fast together, worship together. Let us fall on our faces in your overwhelming presence. God please let offenses be forgiven, let trust be built, let fear be turned to expectant hope. Be everything to us. God knit us together and make us a mighty army of women, wives, moms, friends and daughters for the advancement of your kingdom here on earth. 

Zebra in a block

Some days its impossible for Dave and I to get 5 minutes alone. Between our children's needs, our phones ringing off the hook some days, emails pilling up, the door bell ringing and functions 1 or both of us needing to attend we have very little time to sit and catch up on our days. 

We needed to speak on a matter so we ran to Olivia's room and shut the door quickly. For whatever reason we thought Olivia's room would be the quiet spot. HA! I was sitting on the chair and Dave laid on the floor and picked up a block. We have alphabet blocks that are clear with little figures in them to associate the letter with a picture. He picked up the Z and it had a zebra in it. He looked up at me and said, " Don't you ever wish you could go back to when things were as simple as Zebra's in blocks?" I think we were over tired cause we both started to laugh. 

Yes I do wish I could go back some days to when I didn't have a care in the world. My mom took care of it all. I dream about not having to think about dinner, laundry, dishes, scheduling. Those days seem so appealing now and when I was in them all I wanted to do was be big! Boy did I rush it. Ever feel like this? We rushed our lives to get here?! If we had really known what our days would be filled with would we have been in such a hurry to get big? 

I think this little zebra in a block is my reminder to slow down, things can wait, people can wait. Don't rush my children to get big and miss out on the simple moments that are right in front of our faces, but because the world around us is complicated we tend to complicate things further. My prayer for you and I today is that we can remember a time where life was all about zebra's in blocks.