Monday, January 7, 2013

Examine Myself? Who? Me?

" Can I have more apple juice?" With a full mouth of what was for breakfast, " Can I have a snack?" " Can I play my DS?" " Can I play legos?"  " Can you make me something to take to work?" " Can you do the trash today?" "Mom when you pick me up can you have my lego man ready for me?"  And the dog at my feet whining to go outside. AHHHH some mornings I just want to scream. 

Because I want this blog to be 100% open and honest, most days my reaction isn't pleasant to all of these requests. I grumble, get overwhelmed and snap back. " I just got out of bed can I have 2 seconds to pee?!" And usually I am going to the bathroom with the little or big person making the request still asking on the other side of the door. Now that Olivia can talk, our almost 2 year old going on 20, she is getting a bit pushy as well. So that's 4 vs 1...crummy ratio. 

Patience and grace are the 2 biggest things I lack. Because I am such a black and white person, when I see something off I have a very hard time extending grace. And when my patience gets tested, and as you can see that's quite often, I have a very hard time with my slow to anger reactions. Is there anyone else out there like this or am I the only one? I am admitting this because I am not some perfect pastors wife that thinks I can do no wrong. I am human before anything else, and just like you I have flaws. BIG ONES! 

I am so thankful this morning that I have a sav·ior  noun a person who savesrescues, or delivers me every time I need Him. What if he acted and responded like I do? With my  questions, requests, pleas and commands adding up to around a billion by now, how would I feel if he responded with, "give me a stinkin' second to think!" I am sure my face would be like that of my children's, disappointed and in some cases hurt by my reaction. Does anyone know what I am talking about?

I wrote another blog a while back on this subject,http://thevictoriousmother.blogspot.com/2011/02/patience-is-not-my-middle-name.html. And here I sit still struggling with it. I don't know if I will ever be as patient or grace filled as I would like to be but I do know I am working on it. Is there something you are working on that you aren't afraid to admit?  I would love to get some comments either here, Facebook or Twitter but it will require you taking a look at your life. Why is it so hard for us to examine ourselves? 




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